Now that I’m trying to dive back into blogging, I’m back to participating in the Five Minute Friday exercise. The main rule is to write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking – on the topic that Lisa-Jo posts about each week.
This week’s topic is: Ordinary
My friends always used to joke that my life was never dull. Really, to me it seemed pretty ordinary.
Four months ago next week, though, everything got turned even more upside down than it had been, and now it’s hard to recall what my old ordinary life even consisted of.
Now ordinary means doctor appointments most days, more ER visits than I’d had in my entire life (quadrupled) and enough Urgent Care visits in just over a month to have averaged three a week. Ordinary means talking more with medical people or insurance people than “actual” people in my life.
Ordinary now means a counter even more full of medication, a home health nurse that comes once a week, a PICC line – and therefore a fridge full of more fluids and meds than even food or other staples. Ordinary means finding saline, heparin and alcohol swabs floating around my purse, my counters, and my kitchen. Ordinary means a house that hasn’t been really cleaned or put together like I’d like because I’m not supposed to lift, move, or carry anything over 5 lbs once a day – and it means a house full of medical supplies, complete with an IV pole.
Ordinary used to mean being the first person on the campus where I worked each morning, besides maybe a lone maintenance person who might occasionally beat me there. Ordinary meant a job I loved dearly and people I loved working and serving alongside of every day. Ordinary would mean being bundled up in sweaters, scarves, and jackets because this Californian is admittedly wimpy when it comes to the cold.
Now ordinary means only having left the house for hospital stays, doctor appointments, and a very few errands that fall in my limited radius of places I can drive to. It means a handicap placard, and sometimes going days not even able to leave the house at all. It means having missed nearly two entire seasons, being relegated to wearing only a few things that work with my PICC line – all of which are short-sleeved – and my cute scarves decorating my house and not my wardrobe.
Ordinary means rejoicing if it’s a day I have the energy to go through the process necessary to be able to protect my line and shower, putting on ‘real people’ clothes, rarely doing more than putting my hair in a simple braid, and laughing when the girl who always did her hair and make-up now is told how great she looks if she’s got even a smidge of powder or lipstick on. (Then again, anything’s an upgrade after what a few of them saw some of the early days in the hospital!)
Ordinary meant a life full of friends I loved, lots of places to go, my passport always at the ready, art to be created – and, of course, meant being a notorious multi-tasker. Now, ordinary means being happy if one thing on my to-do list got done, or if I was able to get through a few pages of a book. It’s meant God slowing me way down. Ordinary now means only seeing the people who are willing to make the effort to come over, see me many times not looking as much like “me” as I’d like, and who are willing to look past the chaos of my current situation to just come and “be” with me – realizing going and doing all the time just isn’t what God has for me right now.
There are two things about my old ordinary and my new ordinary that are the same, though. I’ve seen that God’s blessed me with some precious friends that have come alongside me, prayed faithfully for me, and are walking this most unexpected and long and winding road with me – friends who have walked the extra mile…and then some. Mostly, it’s meant seeing that God’s still God and still in control – even amidst the fog and the questions and the unknowing, God has His hand in the ordinary, and I trust that He can and will bring something extraordinary from it!
bluecottonmemory said:
I think our ordinaries are constantly evolving – and that the challenges teach us more about God’s ordinary. Your message contains an idea so important – finding ordinary goodness in the face of challenges – precious friends, beauty with no makeup, not worrying about the mess – a kind of peeling away the dross to find the gold.
BTW – Duck Dynasty is about show “about” the man who created a duck call empire (had been the quarterback in college ahead of Terry Bradshaw but quit his senior year because it interfered with duck hunting). He has 4 sons, one who now runs the business, on in charge of production etc. Having 5 sons I love the dialog and humor, the message – and the prayer at the end. I find myself smiling all through the show – and our entire crew has a blast watching!
Wishing you the Father’s ordinary blessings this weekend!
Leese said:
Thanks for that! I used to have a private blog and always did a whole lot of blogging – as well as trying to capture in pictures – the theme of seeing beauty in the brokenness that God seemed to keep bringing up, especially when traveling overseas.
I think in some ways it’s what led to my two first blog posts when I finally started a public blog, the ones about ‘in everything.’ Those two were ones I had first written five or six years ago, I suppose also similar in heart to Ann Voskamp’s book that came out a few years later. So what you pointed out in the first paragraph was interesting – because I hadn’t been intentionally thinking along those lines (finding goodness or grace in the face of challenge) when I wrote today, but sort of went that way naturally. Which I suppose means perhaps that conviction has taken root more than it seems like some days!
What you suggested in the very beginning would have been an interesting take to read someone expound about in a five minute Friday on ordinary! I don’t think I’d have even thought about it that way, yet I think that is the case!
And thanks for filling me in on Duck Dynasty. I had no idea anything duck wise (let alone hunting) was such a big thing – to quit football over or to turn into an ’empire.’ I can see having a houseful of guys making it a much more likely TV viewing choice than in my house! Ha! 🙂
Thanks for dropping by and for your encouragement!
Ava Sophie said:
Wow! How great of you to keep the focus on God and your total faith in him, in such tough times! I’ve got something to learn from you 😉 Thanks for sharing your story. It inspired me to change my focus!
Leese said:
Thanks, Ava Sophie! Trust me, it’s ::not:: always where my focus ends up, as much as I wish that were the case! But at the same time – and I’m sure I’ll get to the point of blogging about this piece of it – my world (or my ordinary?) has been rocked so much, that it forces me to keep bringing my focus back there because there isn’t any other choice much of the time.
I love how blogging has changed things so much – that we can challenge, encourage, and learn from one another…no matter where we are in life!
Beth @ My Destiny said:
I pray your ordinary changes soon and medical supplies, doctor visits, etc … will all be a distant memory!
I pray you feel God’s wonderful love wrap around you.
Thank you for visiting me!
Love,
Beth
Leese said:
Beth, thank you so much! Much of the time I pray that, too. Other times, though, I think others pray that more for me than I even ever begin to because I also see how God’s used it to shape me, and for such good!
But I do hope the ‘crisis’ part of this ordinary that has upended my life quite to this extent does change soon, though – there are some interesting possible doors God is opening along those lines, so it’ll be interesting to see what He does with it all next – I just know the process of choosing one of those doors will have so many ramifications as well.
Really, though, thanks for what you’ve prayed. And thanks for dropping by here in return. I’ve actually got your blog open in one of my tabs still so I can go back and read more of it – and I added it to reader so I can continue to read.
Blessings!
Mia said:
Hi Leese
I can relate to your new ordinary for I have Fibro/CFS. I am just grateful that I have learned many coping skills that had made this road so much easier. I am encouraged by your wonderful spirit amongst all your suffering! Happy FMF. And a blessed week-end.
Much love
Mia
Leese said:
I’m sorry this road of health struggles is something you can also identify with, Mia. It can be hard and so isolating at times, yet it’s amazing how much the possibility of online community and connecting with others walking a similar journey is so much easier than it was in the past.
I recently joined a FB group recently specific to a surgery that’s probably in my future. It’s people from all over the world, and with many variances in the specifics of what they’re dealing with, but all of whom are pursuing or considering or have actually had this surgery. It’s been amazing – because it’s unlikely I’d ever have connected with someone in real life who’s gone the same route!
Just because of the complicated health journey God’s had me on over the years, I got to know (and eventually work for) a gal from my old church. She’s the founder of a ministry specifically for those dealing with chronic illness/pain or things that are considered more ‘invisible’ illnesses. I always loved Septembers, when Invisible Illness Awareness Week rolled around. It was so neat to hear stories of people who finally felt like they weren’t alone or to help others get resources to educate other people.
There was one shirt that was always a favorite with people – the top ten things not to say to a chronically ill person! Anyway, it’s been years since I’ve worked with her, but if you’ve never happened across Rest Ministries, or Invisible Illness Week that they sponsor each year, you may enjoy checking it out! http://www.invisibleillnessweek.com
Thanks for stopping by – it’s always nice to have someone who “gets” it, even if I’d much prefer no else need to! And thanks for your encouragement! I have your blog open in another tab so tomorrow when I get up “for real” I can read some of your thoughts! So I’ll see you over there later on!
Praying you have a weekend where you’re feeling pretty good and where you find God as your sufficiency in every moment!
thegangsmomma said:
Thanks for stopping by and commenting…. it’s always nice to get new readers along the journey. I don’t know if I could do the “write for five minutes with no editing” thing – the proof-reader/copy editor wanna be in me might freak out 🙂 But thanks for sharing YOUR version of it and for being real here. Sounds like you are on quite the learning curve!
Blessings for you and your day!
Leese said:
I’ve been reading for awhile…it just took me awhile to start commenting. God convicted me about the fact that there’s a lot I can’t do in this season of life I’m in right now, but praying and encouraging is one thing I CAN do. So I’m trying to be better about not just praying, but also letting people know I am!
And trust me, after teaching writing for years, it totally stresses me out, too! But it’s a good exercise in not pre-thinking/over-thinking/etc. every thing and just being real. Since I tend to be incredibly private and give great thought to things before I speak/share, it forces me out of my comfort zone! 🙂